


Lemon Balm

by Paech



Series: marylonde family shenanigans [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Family Feels, Human/Troll Hybrids, Kanaya and Dave's underrated friendship, Motherhood, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, rose and kanaya as first time parents, so expect lots of overwhelming and twisting feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-07-12 18:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19950661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paech/pseuds/Paech
Summary: 'You remember too much, my mother said to me recently.Why hold onto all that?'~Four times Rose and Kanaya falter to accept the new chapter in their lives and one time they didn't and managed to come to terms.





	Lemon Balm

**Author's Note:**

> just a heads up, Roxy uses she\her pronouns in this because they haven't realized they're nonbinary yet.  
> also pls mind the mistakes, it's hard for me to proofread sometimes and I have no beta :'3

The plastic material of the baby bottle made Rose's palm feel cold, the nervous sweat collecting at the base almost provoking the bottle to slip and clatter onto the ground. Her arm, what felt like hours and began to surge with a sore sensation, held the most tiny light gray being her purple eyes rested on. 

It had only been an hour since Rose and Kanaya were allowed to bring Lilith home from the NICU, the hybrid buried comfortably in silk hospital blankets and dead asleep. Lilith eventually stirred awake in Rose's arms, her wails demanding for her attention. It startled Rose at first - debating for a moment of what she could possibly want, until the realization that Lilith hadn't ate formula yet since the morning at the hospital. 

Positioning the rubber nipple to Lilith's mouth, relief washed over Rose as the hybrid baby latched on without trouble, a soothing breath escaping the blonde as she leaned into the couch cushions.

Rose's gaze continued to linger on the child's face, drinking up every feature displayed. Her cheeks were free of sprays of freckles, as Rose bared on her own face, her skin the most lightest gray shade she'd seen. Almost everything was troll-like about her, save for her sclera, body shape, and truant horns. 

Her nose was beginning to contour into Rose's shape, setting a drop in the pit of Rose's stomach with alerts that _this was her reality_. An anchor, if you will. 

Though this wasn't the first time, her and Kanaya's wedding had already beaten it to the punch. They were similar situations, the former event evolving into what Rose had now. They were merely strings, its ends attached firmly and knitting a brand new string to continue. 

Admittedly, Rose still hadn't exactly warmed up to the idea of parenthood, having thought the title 'Mother of Baby Lalonde-Maryam' would never come to fruition. That proved to be moot, what with the culmination of Rose and Kanaya nestled there in the blonde's arms. 

She couldn't believe it, even if one were to pinch the meat of her arm as hard and awakening as they could.

She had a daughter. Rose and Kanaya had a _daughter_. She could feel the tears glazing in her lilac eyes, a sheet already shed before on the first minute the tiny being was entrusted in her arms.

This unveiled in Rose's mind multiple times, and multiple moments as her thumb stroke the hybrid's chubby face. As if turning into a God was more normal to her than conceiving a baby with her beloved wife. 

Perhaps it was because of the previous and long abandoned theory that trolls and humans were too different to create new life, or the fact Rose would ever _want_ to become a mother. 

She couldn't understand; not even with six months to process it and a litany of conversations with Kanaya. Not to mention the repetitive shooshes and comforts they shared with the frightened concept of motherhood lingering upon them, only working for a week before Rose jumped back on her conclusion that she'd be ludicrous.

Rose was thrown off the tracks of her thoughts from the sudden push of the bottle, the milk contents empty and remaining drops sticking to the walls. 

Lilith yawned, her gummy maw being showcased to Rose as she nestled back in the blankets and snoozed off. Rose stared at her for a moment, gradually placing the bottle on the coffee table and sighing quietly into the air. 

Rose ran her fingers through the black, thick patch of hair sitting on Lilith's head, shifting her eyes away from Lilith when footsteps echoed and revealed Kanaya, this time dressed with red pants and a symbol less white collared inky shirt. 

Rose's expression softened, a light smile plying on her black painted lips. Kanaya smiled back just as warmly, sitting down next to her wife in the soft orange couch, leaning in and surveying their daughter. The aura was fond and full of love, comfortable silence prolonging between them until Kanaya parted her lips. 

"Lilith is rather sleepy today," she commented, brow slightly perked up. "Sleeping during the hours of the day, that's one first thing she inherited from you." A shit eating smirk plastered itself on Kanaya, causing a suppressed laugh to rip from Rose's throat, sounding mangled and downright comical, and especially endearing to the jadeblood's ears. 

"Well, that's one to strike up a conversation." Rose said in a joking manner, readjusting the bundle in her arms. Kanaya hummed lightly, her fingers coming to rest on Lilith's face, cautious of her claw. 

"Wait, Kanaya, look at this," Rose murmured, sifting away through the hospital blankets until chubby hands were revealed. Rose gently grabbed her wife's hand, hovering it above Lilith and beckoning Kanaya to hold her much smaller hand. 

Kanaya hesitated momentarily, loosely pressing her thumb to her palm and keeping her other four fingers behind the hybrid's hand. Suddenly, the tiny hand curled securely around her mother's large thumb, causing Kanaya's eyes to fly wide open and gain the size of an owl's. 

Kanaya's heart felt like it was being squeezed, tightly with adoration, along with jumbled feelings she didn't dare to try and pin. 

Kanaya's breathing became shallow, getting more closer to Rose and leaning into her side, a sigh following. 

"She looks very..." Kanaya trailed off, rubbing Lilith's knuckles comfortingly. "Smooshy?" 

Rose smiled. "I suppose she does."

"Is that natural? For babies of your species?" Kanaya asked, met with a nod of Rose's head, jostling her support for her side a bit. 

"Babies of my species are indeed soft, yes." Rose answered, provoking a sated noise from Kanaya. She had to be grateful for the fact Lilith was born so imposingly human, Rose couldn't image - and _didn't want to_ \- a grub's claws scraping at her most vulnerable parts. To balance off her form, she inherited mainly troll traits, no human akin features being present aside from her sclera. 

Kanaya's brows furrowed, suddenly, noticing a small, inward hole on Lilith's stomach. Concern arose in the jadeblood, using her other hand to redirect Rose's attention. 

"And this?" Kanaya questioned aloud. Rose's lips shifted into an 'o' shape, brushing off her wife's nerves with ease.

"That is merely just a belly button, which I do not possess, as you've certainly seen, since I wasn't grown in the womb." Rose informed, completely forgetting Kanaya never knew once about belly buttons. How could she though? Rose didn't know it was unnatural to be absent of one, neither did her friends. 

"What, exactly, even is its purpose?" Kanaya piped up quizzically, going back to resting her other hand against the couch's seat cushions to support herself. "Are you positive she just didn't, somehow acquire my since long regenerated hole?"

This caused a tiny snicker to drag out of Rose, shaking her head before answering verbally.

"That's not how genetics work, Kan, if they did we'd be seeing babies with ridiculous tattoos," Rose assured. "Belly buttons are formed after the umbilical cord is cut off, its main and only purpose being so the youngin receives nutrients from its mother."

Kanaya nodded her head responsively, her jade eyes staring keenly and almost unfocused at Lilith, perhaps pondering again why humans were so vastly strange and alien. That was a small price she had to pay, really, for the choice of mingling with a human and then creating life with said human. 

"Rose,"

The blonde turned her head up, Kanaya staring at her while removing her fingers from Lilith's hand, though by her gradual movement it seemed as if she didn't want to. 

"Have you-" a chubby, small hand suddenly _slapped_ against Kanaya's mouth, concealing her lips abruptly shut as a bewildered look plastered on the jadeblood's face. Did Lilith just attempt to quiet Kanaya? Despicable! Rose giggled profusely, her mouth curling and cheeks tinging red. 

"Looks like someone has already been quite fed up with your ramblings, darling Kanaya," Rose teased. "You'll grow fond of it, Lily, you will have to endure hearing it for years to come anyways."

Kanaya rolled her eyes playfully, moving her daughter's hand away from her fangs to speak properly.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Kanaya inquired, causing Rose to pause and sigh, shifting up on the couch; before Kanaya could start fretting about her wife's habits, Rose wanted to set Lilith down in her crib. 

Shuffling upstairs and leaving Kanaya to cook something on the whim, the pair went inside Rose and Kanaya's large bedroom, the room quite neat in contrast to the rest of the space in their home. 

A snowflake white bassinet rested near a queen sized bedding, transparent purple curtains falling above the bed and giving it an extra look. Kanaya had suggested to place the bassinet in their room, instead of giving Lilith her own bedroom, the jadeblood's worry level tinging on the sharp end of the thought of leaving their daughter in a room, by herself, completely unattended and vulnerable. 

Rose didn't dare to protest; usually arguments with her wife always ended with fail. Kanaya was always disgustingly right, Rose snarled. 

Putting aside the fact Rose would feel ultimately guilty for denying anything to her wife, especially if it was something unharmful and involving their now breathing and present child. 

Rose carefully laid Lilith in the bassinet, spreading out the blankets so they wouldn't suffocate her. A pale hand caressed her light gray cheek for a heart beating second, purple eyes looking thoroughly at the hybrid baby _she_ spawned. This was her duty now, her occupation. Everything had to be about Lilith and her care, as a good mother would, Rose thought insistently. Do anything for her, like what her own mom would claim.

But what was an ideal good mother?

***

Two familiar blondes barged in, passing the threshold of the house and looking wildly while their arms were preoccupied with gifts, Roxy's neatly wrapped in a baby blue present paper topped with a hot pink bow and Dave's simply a red bag with white tissue exploding out of it. 

Once their collective gaze sat on Kanaya coming from the kitchen, Dave and Roxy bounded towards her, enthusiasm detected in the way they walked and their body language. 

Dave offered his present first, having flash stepped immediately towards his sister-in-law. 

"These gifts are for Lilith," Dave told her, as Roxy handed hers over to Kanaya, who took it without a word and honestly a bit taken aback. 

"And speaking of which, where is she? I haven't seen her since she popped out of Rose." he made a ' _pop_ ' sound with his mouth. Kanaya walked over to couch, setting the gifts there so her arms wouldn't wear out. 

"Today is the day she was able to come home from that NICU jazz, right? Or did Davey here just completely get it wrong?" Roxy asked, an immediate defense coming from Dave. 

"There's no way I got the date wrong, I had it written down on a calendar and shit," Dave remarked, turning his shades at Kanaya's direction. "C'mon, she's here right? Is Rose feeding her or something?" before Kanaya could answer, Rose's voice interjected from the kitchen. 

"Lilith is sleeping at the moment, so please don't wake her up." Rose called out, her voice a bit muffled from her food. 

"Yeah, but we brought her presents to spoil her," Dave said. "And we don't wanna miss out on seeing the pure joy of our niece's face from opening up gifts."

A laugh poured from Rose, stabbing her fork into the crispy and spiced tortilla chip. "Lilith can't smile, Dave, she doesn't have an affirm hold on her facial muscles just yet." 

"Me and Roxy still bought them though, so we're legally allowed to watch her open them." Dave protested, receiving a tap on his shoulder from Kanaya, garnering his and Roxy's attention. 

"I can take you two upstairs to see her anyways, but I don't know about the gift opening at this time." Kanaya offered, her voice low enough so Rose couldn't hear. Roxy and Dave nodded, following after Kanaya like lost puppies on the stairway and to her and Rose's bedroom. 

Kanaya pressed her finger to her lips, signaling to her in-laws to keep quiet and stealth. She lead them to the bassinet, observing and smiling as their faces lit up at the sight of the tiny half breed. Roxy put a hand to her chest, curling her fingers on the railing. 

"Oh my god, I think I'm gonna die," Roxy whispered, then turning her gaze to Kanaya. "Is it alright if we hold her?"

Kanaya pursed her lips in thought; surely Lilith wouldn't get fussy, she seemed to rather like being in someone's arms, anyway. She gave a confirming nod to Roxy, the pink eyed girl grinning and ever so cautiously and slowly, picked up the slumbering hybrid from the bassinet, rewarded with nothing but silence, soothing the mother jadeblood's mind. 

Dave loomed over Roxy's shoulder, despite being a good few inches shorter than her, his shaded red gaze transfixed. 

"She's so _tiny_...!" Roxy commented lowly, giggling a little and carefully cradling her head. "Baby bug, my lil' grandniecechild." 

"Has Dirk seen her at all? Outside from like, the hospital I mean?" Dave piped up to Kanaya, to which she responded with a shake. 

"He hasn't seen her since everyone gathered." Kanaya said, earning a disappointed pout from Roxy. 

"Well that's odd, she's part of the strilonde fam after all, it's obligatory." Roxy huffed.

"Dirk just doesn't know how to get along with children, I guess," Dave shrugged, before hurrying on with his statement. "Okay well, no actually, I've seen him play soccer with a bunch of carapace and troll kids before but he's just awkward around babies, and even then he seemed to like Lilith, I think. He's just.... Dirk." he and Roxy shared a chuckle at the end.

"I swear, Dirk is awkward with everyone," Roxy snorted. "I wouldn't put it past him to feel intimidated by a baby, sure sounds like him."

An entertained snigger emitted from Kanaya. Movements started in Roxy's arms, pulling their attention and finding Lilith to be stirred awake and mewling soft noises, almost sounding akin to grub chirrups. 

"Well, looks like someone is up." Kanaya said softly. Dave pumped his hand in delight. 

"Aw, hell yeah, present time." Dave gently scooped Lilith out of Roxy's hold, trudging downstairs with Kanaya and Roxy at his tail. 

On the couch, Rose was sprawled out, her head drifting off until the collective booming noises of steps sounded out. 

Dave headed to the couch and plopped down near Rose's leg, not caring for the little amount of space there was due to his excitement. 

He reached for his gift first, putting it on his lap. For a moment, he waited for Lilith to pick apart the tissue, but she seemed rather distracted by looking at the new person that was present in her home. 

"You need to do it for her," Rose suddenly uttered. "Gift tissues aren't particularly attentive to her, as she is only a month old." 

Dave nodded, adjusting Lilith a tad so the gift gained her sight. Dave began plucking out the white tissues, the covers flowing down onto the floorboard and mounding. 

Inside the bag, Dave pulled out mini shades. Kanaya groaned internally as he unfolded the hinges and slipped them on Lilith with ease, a snort spilling from Rose. 

"She looks ridiculous!" Rose laughed. Lilith's tiny hands came into contact with the lenses, a litany of confused noises filling the room, only prompting more giggles from Rose and Roxy. 

"If you think I'm going to let you turn my daughter into an insufferable loser like you, Dave, I hope you're reconsidering." Rose mused, smirking. 

Dave shook his head, adjusting the shades once or twice before they began slipping down Lilith's small frame. "And how've you been doing lately postpartum everything?"

Rose whistled, shrugging her shoulders. 

"Well, I still look pregnant unfortunately, but only slightly and not as much as I actually was," Rose told him, sighing irritatingly. "It's difficult to use the bathroom without a gnawing fear lingering at my shoulder about the stitches, so that's _ridiculous_. And postpartum depression is... indescribable, I suppose, I don't know." It was transparent of what action her postpartum depression, but Rose filed to ignore it - though, that didn't stop Kanaya's endless concerns and fusses. If anything, Rose started to feel achingly guilty for adding another pressure to her wife's weight; haphazardly dealing with their early half breed newborn without having enough required experience or resolving issues with motherhood already buried Kanaya chin deep into the solid ground that was named 'responsibility'. 

Dave sucked in sharply through his teeth at Rose's answer.

Roxy took a seat on the floor beside the tissue mound, fetching her present to Lilith. 

"Okay now's my present, ya'll, and I promise you it's def better than Dave's." Roxy handed off the box to him. 

"You guys have low taste, these shades are obviously tight," Dave huffed, setting the bag down to make room for the box's size. 

"I never said they were awful, Dave, and in fact it was very thoughtful of you." Rose said, resting her elbow on the arm chair. 

"I, for one, disagree." Kanaya scoffed, watching as Lilith continued to act perplexed at the abrupt darkened shade. 

Dave scratched his fingers against the wrapping paper, tearing it apart as the rips immediately garnered Lilith's attention. "Alright, this one's from your aunt Roxy." he announced, clearing away every inch of the baby blue wrapping paper. 

"Idk 'bout being called aunt Roxy, honestly..." Roxy mused, a brow arching on Rose's face. 

"If not aunt Roxy, what do you want to be called? It's largely important, as I very much want our daughter to be close to you, y'know." Rose told her. A smile crossed Roxy's face, giving her a shrug in response.

"I dunno, really," Roxy hummed, a white box being revealed underneath the wrapping paper in Dave's hands. 

"Aunt Roxy just doesn't feel right, I guess, though I wouldn't mind if that's what Lily chose to call me." 

Roxy shrugged again, uncertain and languidly, a curious smile painting her face. 

"'Nuff about me though! What about you and Kanaya? You gonna choose mama Rose?" Roxy inquired with a lighthearted tone. 

Rose paused. The term made her stomach flip. "Mama?" 

Opening the box, a little beige jacket rested inside, along with a whole outfit completed with a purple scarf and a puffy toy cat. Kanaya and Rose gasped, Kanaya coming towards Dave and lifting up the outfit, an audible aw flowing out of her. 

"Oh, Roxy, that's beautiful." Rose marveled, taking the scarf and plush from the box to examine them. 

"I was thinking about getting her some cute pjs, but I'm sure you and Kanaya are already set on that." Roxy smiled, putting a hand on Lilith's head. 

Rose brushed her thumb across the fine fabric, folding it on her lap. 

"We can't thank you enough, Roxy." Kanaya said gleefully, Roxy giving her a dismal of her hand. 

"Hey, now you and Lilith can match scarves and enter fancy as fuck mother-daughter pageants." Dave commented to Rose, the purple eyed blonde shrugging her shoulders responsively. 

Rose couldn't remember if her own mother ever enacted that sort of bonding. It was always Rose being kept to herself and spending time with her old cat Jaspers, while her mom was busy off somewhere in the house.

As a black cat nuzzled against Rose's legs, she internally and helplessly hoped things wouldn't end up the same. 

***

TG: hey i know its late as fuck and roxy and me visited already earlier today but 

TG: im just so fucking excited about lilith yknow

TG: like damn im an uncle im gonna be the worlds most coolest uncle

TG: funcle

TG: biuncle

TG: never fear your uncle is here 

TG: hes here to buy you ice cream and stuffed animals and take you to the movies maybe even record sick beats together one day 

TG: deep down inside i always knew id be an uncle to a half alien baby

GA: Although I Doubt That Is True Its Still Heart Warming To See You Say That

TG: no frfr

TG: rose has always been into wack ass monster ladies which is probs why she never hit it off with any regular homo sapiens like a normal boring girl

TG: roses type is all smoking hot tall extraterrestrial women with sharp teeth and protruding mystical tentacles coming out of her

TG: trolls dont have a bunch of tentacles just slobbering out but at least they have one right so it still counts

GA: If I Didnt Bare At Least One Lilith Wouldnt Be Present Here With Us

GA: Well I Suppose She Would Actually Because Of The Ectobiological Lab

TG: okay yeah i dont need to know about yours and roses wham bro

GA: Right 

GA: Though You Brought It Up Firstly

TG: anyways 

TG: whats rose doin rn 

GA: Sleeping As It Is Two In The Morning 

TG: huh usually shes up at this hour probably trying to summon some demons she learned of from one of her ancient books

GA: Lilith Has Been Taking

GA: A Tremendous Amount Of Energy From Us 

GA: Both Mentally and Literally

TG: wait mentally what 

GA: Yes That Is What I Typed 

TG: you sure it wasnt just an autocorrect situation 

TG: i know that fucks me hard against the wall sometimes 

GA: Um No 

TG: whats there to be emotionally exhausted about

GA: There Is A Lot 

GA: Of Things Actually

GA: We Just Happen To Tuck It Away From The Public Very Successfully

GA: Like This One Evening When Lilith Was Nowhere To Be Found In Any Corners Or Respiteblocks Of Our Home Until A Coo Was Heard From The Bath Tub

GA: Sneaky Girl Almost Induced Panic Attacks On Her Mothers

TG: well whats one of them 

TG: is it about being eighteen and a mom already if so at least you n rose have a stable and married relationship than half of those teen moms on tv

GA: Its Not That

TG: diving into the unknown about raising a cross breed bab

GA: Not That As Well

GA: Or Well 

GA: Close Enough I Suppose But Its Not Generally Surrounding Liliths Hybridism Though That Is A Small Point 

TG: is it just parenting specifically 

GA: Yes In Fact 

GA: Rose Has Not Opened Up Much About Her Own Dilemma But Personally The Idea Of Nurturing Was

GA: Desirable Especially In My Caste 

GA: Well Not Their Own Offspring

GA: Which Reels Us To Our First Obstacle Among Many

TG: time to hop over that shit then 

GA: Then Let Us Proceed

TG: got my psychoanalyze degree hung up on the wall and a bed for you to lay on as you go in depth about your complex mom issues

TG: totally didnt steal the degree from my sister

GA: Rose Does Not Possess One Though

GA: Thinking Face Emoji

TG: thinking face emoji lmao what 

TG: why did you type that out 

GA: We Are Getting Off Track Dave 

TG: oops sorry sis 

TG: so what about your mommy dilemma

TG: did you even want to be a mommy though

GA: I Cannot Say

GA: When Seeing Lilith For The First Time I Was Overwhelmed With Emotions 

GA: She Is Something I 

GA: My Wife And I 

GA: Created Together With Only Our Manifested Love Without Any Severe Delays Or Fatalities

GA: That I Couldnt Decide To Whether Smile Or Cry 

GA: Even If It Was Merely Behind A Transparent Glass Wall And I Only Got To Hold Her For A Milisecond

TG: i mean they wouldve let you into the delivery room if liliths condition wasnt so concerning in more ways than one 

TG: you kinda pushed it too and erased any sort of chance of being there by bursting into the room with your chainsaw whipped out and ready to slice a mf

GA: I Was Worried!!!!

GA: Hearing Rose Emit Such Distressing Sounds Made Me On Edge Of What Those Untrustworthy Professionals Were Doing To My Wife

TG: kay we getting off track here 

GA: Oh So It Is Only Acceptable If You Do It 

GA: But Yes You Are Right 

GA: If I Am Being Honest I Feel Slightly Panicked At The Thought 

GA: Of Raising A Child Thats Genetically Mine

TG: you do a great job raising and taking care of grubs from the caverns 

TG: how does it make any difference that lilith is yours 

GA: 

GA: Finish Crumbs Finish Crumbs Finish Crumbs 

TG: pfft

TG: look maybe this is something you should talk to rose about ive gotta go beddy bye 

GA: I Suppose You Are Right 

GA: It Does Concern Our Daughter After All 

GA: Goodnight Dave 

GA: And Thank You 

***

Kanaya leaned over the mutant's shoulder, surveying him closely with a warm smile. 

"You have to change your current arm position," Kanaya said, Karkat struggling to anxiously shift his arms a tad without getting the gnawing feeling he'd drop Lilith as his bushy brows crinkled.

"Why is this so complicated?" Karkat muttered, a supportive hand settling on his shoulder. 

"It's not that complexing until you get the hang of it." Kanaya soothed, an idea suddenly sparking in her hand. 

"Here, look," the jadeblood grabbed his stiff hand, removing it from the side of Lilith and instead hovering it near her tiny fingers. "Let her grab your finger, it's immensely adorable."

Karkat hesitated momentarily, putting a rough finger to Lilith's open palm, to which the hybrid responded with clasping around it; Karkat gaped. 

"Holy shit..." he murmured, completely entranced by the ever tiny light gray chubby hand latched and contrasting his much larger and proper troll gray finger. 

Her claws were comprehensively as sharp and sized as a kitten's claws, softly piercing into Karkat's skin. 

He sucked in a breath, prompting a worried look to don Kanaya. 

"Should I take her?" Kanaya held out her arms, though Karkat denied. 

"It's fine, her claws are practically just pin pricks compared to a regular grubs claws." Karkat said, beginning to try and pry Lilith's hand away, but found how strong her grip really was. 

"Jesus fuck," the mutant raised an eyebrow startlingly. "She won't let go?"

Kanaya chuckled heartily. "Lilith gets attached easily. Besides, you are what humans call a close male figure 'uncle'." She poked Lilith's belly gently.

"Uncle?" Karkat looked blankly at the jadeblood for a second, before a furrowing smile crossed his face. 

"Human terms still confuse the shit out of me, I don't know." he said with a shrug. 

Lilith started to squirm in Karkat's hold, a bewildered look plastering on his face, the blankets wrapped around her beginning to jostle. 

"I think she begs to differ." Kanaya smirked. 

"Why is she moving so much?" Karkat rapidly asked, finally being able to swipe away his pointer finger from her grasping hand. "Is she sick? What the hell do I do?"

Kanaya beckoned him to hand over her wriggling daughter, which Karkat obliged quickly. 

As soon as Lilith was secured into her arms, mother instincts naturally kicked in, cradling her carefully and running the pads of her fingers over her fuzzy hairline; as she would to calm a grub, her usual technique. 

Karkat watched silently, the way she cared for the hybrid almost revving Karkat to a drowsy state; the actions and the aura having a lethargic sense. 

"I can already manifest that Lilith is gonna have the most two fucking amazing moms on this whimsical planet. You and Rose will definitely do far better than Vriska and Terezi." he said matter of factly, causing Kanaya to feel flattered as a sheepish smile formed on her lips. 

"I'm serious, Kanaya, even though you're practically a mess with most new things, you've been tending to youngins for such an incredible period and know more than any of us shits flailing around." Karkat continued, wanting to make sure Kanaya knew and accepted the compliment. 

And it was true! Kanaya had spent so long around grubs and learning how to nurture, she'd win first place if there was ever a grub care competition taking place. 

But Kanaya still didn't know exactly how to handle _Lilith_ ; she was so vastly different from grubs, and it left Kanaya in the middle of nowhere with her own child. She'd have to converse to Rose about the issue one day. 

***

Ear piercing raw cries surged throughout the room, bouncing off the walls and hitting directly into Rose's ear. 

Rose moaned, shifting in the canopy bed until she sat up, glancing to her side to see Kanaya fast asleep and delicate. A pang was felt upon Rose's chest; she'd rather just tend to Lilith herself than rudely interrupt her wife's beauty sleep. 

Rose stretched out the cramps in her limbs, her finger touching the velvety felt of the curtains of the canopy as she slid off the bed drowsily and shuffled to the bassinet. Tears stung to Lilith's cheeks, squirming and kicking her short legs, demanding attention perhaps. 

Rose quickly picked her up, propping her head above her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her temple. Lilith's cries only worsened, prompting Rose to enact all those generic ministrations she'd seen moms do to calm down their baby. 

However, patting her back didn't do a cinch, neither did rocking her gently. Rose grew concerned; what if she was heavily sick? What if she was rotting away because of her mixed genetics clashing?

A sweat ran down Rose's face as knots began to form in her stomachs and balls settling in her throat, shushing Lilith lightly and caressing her head with a free hand. 

"Lily, is everything alright? Are you hungry?" Rose uttered, of course not expecting a verbal response from the month old baby, mostly speaking out of stress. She fought the urge to slap herself of how idiotic that sounded. 

Maybe she _was_ hungry? But she'd just finished eating before she was put to sleep, and that wasn't even an hour ago!

There always was a reason for a baby's upset cries; mothers naturally knew this on a split second - but not Rose. She couldn't even simply guess what the sobs potentially meant! And the more Lilith cried, Rose's heart felt like it was being stabbed with sewing pins. 

Lilith's booming wails eventually stirred Kanaya awake, the jadeblood blinking her eyes hastily and glimpsing at Rose, who looked awfully stressed and clueless and just lost, the cause of the noises writhing right there in the blonde's arms.

"For my own sake, I can't even fathom what she wants," Rose choked out, moving towards the bed and sitting on the mussed blankets and sheets. "I'm a _terrible_ mom!"

Kanaya furrowed her brows, lurching closer to her wife and cautiously taking Lilith, repeating Rose's same actions but to no avail. 

"Here, just, let me," Rose tried taking back Lilith, but Kanaya dismissed it and shook her head. 

"Rose, I'll handle this." Kanaya replied, a frown crossing Rose's face. 

"Kan, she's 50% my daughter too!" Rose huffed, making Kanaya give her another disapproval. 

Kanaya hummed thoughtfully for a moment, while Rose sternly crossed her arms. "Do you think she may be hungry?"

"No," Rose shook her head. "I already fed her before I put her to bed, so it wasn't long ago."

Her cries only trampled on to worse levels, causing Rose to feel vastly concerned and distressed, while Kanaya seemed to be able to blanket that from the surface. 

Kanaya glanced around the room, taking note of the darkened area from the night shade outside. It was like a switch flipped on in her mind when she realized the root of Lilith's cries. 

"What if I...." she narrowed her eyes, her skin changing to a pure white and illuminating the area, Rose's eyes squeezing shut for a moment before adjusting to the unexpected light. 

Lilith's cries had fully halted completely. Rose widened her eyes, mouth agape at the discovery as Kanaya gave a fond chuckle. 

"Oh, darling, she really is just like you-" when Kanaya turned to look at her wife, tears pricked out of Rose's own eyes and her expression immediately fell. 

"Rose? My light, are you okay?" Kanaya removed a non-reliable hand from Lilith and gripped onto her wife's shoulder. 

Tears slipped down uncontrollably, Rose barely making an effort to wipe them away as her cheeks only dampened. 

"This really does just confirm I'm bound to be a horrible mother," Rose croaked, sniffling the cool air sharply and exhaling a shaky breath. 

Kanaya's head rapidly shook, kissing Rose softly. 

"Rose, you are definitely NOT by all means, a horrible mom!" Kanaya stated strongly. 

"I couldn't even grasp on how to soothe my child, when I'm pretty sure Karkat of all people could do the same with his eyes shut." Rose exhaled another breath, this time a little bit stable but it still left her body shaking. "It's all just so... horrifying."

"At least my mom always knew how to handle my impromptu sobs as a baby," Rose choked out. "I can't even take care of myself, fucking hell." 

Her voice cracked and wavered, a sad look seemingly permanent on Kanaya's face. She fitted her hand below Rose's chin, lifting her head up a tad and placing another kiss, this time to her nose then her cheek, wiping the tears away diligently. 

"You'll learn, Rose, not everybody is an immediate expert once their child is finally kicking and breathing," Kanaya told her, her tone falling to a low sound and almost comforting. "You have a plethora amount of time to learn how to assist our daughter's needs, and you won't be alone for every step, because I'll be there, loyal and very much present if you need a shoulder to cry on, no matter how many situations I have to shoosh you."

That's exactly what Rose did; her face colliding with her wife's shoulder, sobs racking her body and dampening Kanaya's shirt, but the jadeblood could careless. 

Wrapping an arm around Rose and glancing down at the finally soothed bundle, Kanaya sighed lightly. ' _At least that's one problem solved_.'

Rose couldn't tell how long they stayed in this position, having lost grip on time and reality as soon as her sobs ruptured out of her. Eventually, Rose stopped crying, sniffing for a few moments before reeling away from Kanaya, eyes puffy. 

Kanaya smiled reassuringly at her, leaning in close to share a kiss with her that lasted for approximately seven seconds. 

Leisurely, the two hefted off the bed, Kanaya softly stroking Lilith's hair and then putting her back inside the bassinet. Rose watched Lilith with half lidded eyes, sniffs spilling from her and cutting any silence that attempted to settle in the room. 

"I wonder what she'd say about Lilith..." Rose murmured, her head suddenly feeling dizzy. "If she ever managed the chance to meet her.."

Kanaya turned to face her, cupping her wife's face and smooching her squarely on the forehead. "I'm sure your mother would've loved her, loved _you_ , we both know Roxy does."

Rose's eyes felt hot, face scrunching as if she was going to cry again; but no tears slipped out, Rose denied them. She took a quick inhale, swiping her hands over her eyes. 

"I wouldn't trade Lilith for anything in the world." Rose croaked out, a soft smile painting Kanaya's features and highlighting her glistening fangs. 

"Neither would I, Rosie." she murmured, gently bringing her wife's head in her direction to brush and press their lips together, touches feathery light and warm and lovely.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for my girl Lilith's birthday 8\7!! Next of Flighty Broad's first anniversary is also soon so take this as an early celebration lol  
> my writing tumblr is @paechwrites


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